and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
