Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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