Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
