I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
