bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
