Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize