Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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