We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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