I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
