I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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