She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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