so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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