my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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