She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
