You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
