Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
