I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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