I think my fart just growled at me.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
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