I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize