i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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