Pants 0. Shit 1.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
