What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I lost the right to judge tonight
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
