If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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