You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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