I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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