I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
