I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
