What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
