Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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