I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
