I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
