Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
