So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
someone owes me an orgasm
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
