And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
