I am in a vortex of obligation.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
