remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
No...this little piggys going to the bar
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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