Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
This is the high leading the old right now
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
