Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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