if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm always down for nudity.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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