if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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