K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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