I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Randomize
