Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
