ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
