why didn't you poke me back
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
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I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
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the girl whose rug I peed on is here
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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