Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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