So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
