Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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