Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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