There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize