Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
