So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
