it wasn't lemon gatorade
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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