I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
