**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
