im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
they need to just BURY HIM!
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
