...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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