i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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