We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
