We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
