Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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