i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
