Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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